Laundry, Grammar, and the Voices in His Head
by Wolfish Oro
Summary: A look inside the conversations between Kenshin and the Battousai... More humor, people.


Laundry, Grammar, and the Voices in His Head

**ORO!**

Kenshin was doing laundry.

Or at least, that's what it looked like he was doing. The rest of the world thought he was doing laundry.

**_Laundry? Hah. You're doing the same thing now as we did back then. Washing your hands, trying to get rid of blood long gone..._**

Kenshin sighed, so softly that even he could barely hear it. Battousai was bored today, and it showed.

**_Bored? Bored? I'm eternally eighteen, since that's when you finally split us apart. Of course I'm bored! And Kaoru-chan's not here to tease. I want to do SOMETHING! Stop with the laundry, Let's go pick a fight with Saitou or something. ANYTHING is better than laundry... Maybe we could go bug shishou for a while-_**

_NO! We are NOT going to go visit shishou!_ Kenshin snapped at himself.

**_Fine, fine. Maybe we should've gone gambling with Sano... Or we could go spy on Yahiko and Tsubame... I still think the best thing to do is go out to fight with Saitou. We could make a ruckus by ignoring the sword ban, and draw the cops out after us..._**

_Or you could be quiet and let this one do laundry._ Kenshin thought back at himself.

_**What fun would that be? I say we go sneak up on Kaoru-chan and--**_

_Don't even think about it! Last time we snuck up on her, Kaoru-dono was so startled she beat us almost to death before she realised who we were. And it's not nice to treat Kaoru-dono--_

_**And that's another thing. She really doesn't like the whole 'Kaoru-dono' thing, you know. Call her 'Kaoru-chan' for once, see what she does. It'll be even funnier than sneaking up on her is!**_

_But this one is unworthy of calling her anything other than 'Kaoru-dono'! This one--_

**_Come to think of it, Kaoru-chan doesn't like it when you call yourself 'this one'. Say 'I', say 'me', use proper grammar for once. And not super-polite grammar!_**

_Oro? Super-polite?_

**_Yeah, and don't pretend you're clueless, Ronin. Ever since the war--_**

_This one is polite because others deserve this one's... uh, politeness. They are above--_

_**Pfft. So you mean they deserve to be annoyed to death?**_

_Ororo! This one doesn't annoy others with his politeness!_

_**You annoy me all the time.**_

_Almost everything annoys you, though, so this one's manners don't count._

_**Well, it annoys Kaoru-chan, too.**_

_...Point taken._

_**Does that mean you'll stop with the super-duper-melt-your-teeth-its-so-sugary-politeness?**_

_-_sigh_- It will take some time to do so, since Kaoru-dono-_

_**-CHAN! It starts in our head, you nutty Ronin!**_

_Right, Kaoru-chan, then. Kaoru-chan would get suspicious if this one-_

_**I or me. In this case, I. Who would have thought that the Battousai would be teaching grammar to a thirty something-**_

_I'm only twenty nine now!_

_**Bullshit. You're thirty one and a half and we both know it. You only told Kaoru-chan twenty eight to keep her from freaking out as much.**_

_Yeah, so?_

_**That doesn't change your age, Ronin.Even if you do look like you're eighteen. Hey, I'm seeing a pattern here. Maybe you haven't aged because you seperated us! Does that mean we're eternally young? That's cool with me, by the way. Maybe we should tell Kaoru-chan and she can join us in our propetual state of adolescense!**_

_...Oro. Let's not and say we did, ne?_

**_Wimp_**.

_This is not getting Kaoru-chan's laundry done._

_**Hey, why are we doing the laundry, anyway?**_

_What do you mean, WE?_

_**Fine. Why are**_ **you _doing the laundry, anyway? Why not Sano or Yahiko? We know why Kaoru-chan can't do it, but they're perfectly capable of doing laundry._**

_Because its women's work, according to them._

_**What?! Do I LOOK like a woman to you?**_

_I don't know, I can't see you._

_**Stop being a smartass. Hey, do you ever lose your temper? Other than when someone's in trouble and you let me out to kick ass?**_

_Keep it up, and maybe you'll find out._

**_Good idea! Glad we thought of it._**

Had anyone been around, they would have seen Kenshin hit his head and groan.

**_Hey! That hurt, kinda. A little. Well, not really, but still..._**

_THIS ONE is doing Kaoru-DONO's laundry. THIS ONE does not appreciate your increasingly annoying comments. If you do not cease immediately, THIS ONE will not let you out ever again, nor will HE allow you to provoke Kaoru-DONO for a very, very long time._

**_...Damn. Remember the grammar, Ronin. And how long is a very,very long time?_**

_I'm thinking along the lines of seven or eight months, Battousai._

**_Shutting up now._**

_Good._

Had the hypothetical visitor been watching, they would have noticed that the pause in the laundry-washing marathon Kenshin was in lasted a grand total of one-and-a-half minutes before Kenshin sighed and returned to his laundry washing.

* * *

Wolfish Oro: Been a long time since this one wrote anything for Rurouni Kenshin. This one intended to try her hand at angst. See where it gets her?

Battousai: **_I or ME! There's a whole grammar lesson typed here! USE IT!  
_**

Wolfish Oro: But it annoys you and this one's mother! Anyway, comments are encouraged by this one. Any type of feedback is good!

Kenshin: _Wolfish Oro forgot to mention, 'ronin' is the real word for wandering samurai. 'Rurouni', while she thinks it is cool, is not a word. The real author of Ruroken, Watsuki-sensei, made it up._


End file.
